Socchi Day 6

Sochi 2014: What to watch, Day 6 (February 13)

.By Don Landry | Eh Game – Wed, 12 Feb, 2014 4:25 PM EST..


Sidney Crosby makes his way to the practice facility at the Sochi Olympics. (CP)

As Day 6 at Sochi dawns, two things will be made perfectly clear, as long as the sun’s light is not completely blotted out by skier Jan Hudec’s enormous butt. Hey, that’s how he describes it, not me.

One: Hockey players look ridiculous in full gear and flip flops. See the picture, above.

Two: CBC’s Diana Swain is utterly and undeniably charming. Her easy manner and superb anchor skills make you want to spend the whole day with her. Ask her to, I don’t know, go antiquing with you. Or hang out at the mall. Or read your favourite novel to you. Just so long as the morning doesn’t end. Point is, we could use even more Diana Swain in our Olympic coverage.

Oh, a third thing will be made crystal clear as well: That Norway can’t hang with Canada in men’s hockey. It’s not in doubt and they don’t care. They will kick our butts in cross country skiing and 80’s synth pop karaoke. All Norwegians can reach the high notes in “Take On Me” without any effort at all, so don’t even try. But, we got ’em in hockey. Which the International Olympic Committee insists on calling ice hockey, lest there be any confusion by the players who might otherwise hit the ice in those flip flops. If you enjoy the kind of domination demonstrated by the chimps and gorillas in the breakout scene of “Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes,” then you will also enjoy this. Canada versus Norway, 12 pm ET, on CBC.

[Related: Puck Daddy’s Sochi Olympic Hockey Medal Predictions]

Patrick Chan. That guy can dominate, too. The darling of men’s figure skating – and not just because he’s a nice Canadian – has won three world championships. He will try to become the first Canadian man to win gold in Olympic figure skating (but only because, years ago, a 17 year old Don Cherry made a critical decision to focus instead on hockey). I have it on good authority that Chan will skate his short program to “The Theme From The Littlest Hobo.” There’s a voice, that keeps on calling me…. Men’s figure skating, 10 am ET, on TSN.

Did you know the United States has never scored a medal in biathlon? Ever? “Of course,” you say, “everyone knows that.” Well, American Tim Burke is expected to change that. So… yeah. 8:45 am ET, on Sportsnet. Oh, there’s hockey on CBC (Russia vs Slovenia) and TSN (Slovakia vs the United States) at that time, too, if my stellar sell job on biathlon didn’t reel you in.

Did you know there’s now a relay event in luge? How do they pass that baton at such high speeds and in a prone position? We’re told Canada has a decent chance of grabbing a medal in this, so it’s worth a gander. 11 am ET, on Sportsnet One.

Did you know that I’ve never started three consecutive paragraphs with the phrase “did you know?” Ha! A personal best! At the Olympics!

Lots of speed skating on tap. Could be Canadian Christine Nesbitt’s swan song at the Olympics. She won gold at Vancouver in this same event, the 1,000 metres, in 2010. This girl is what you call accomplished. In addition to the Olympic gold, she’s won 7 World Championship gold medals and 39 World Cup gold medals. Wowsers. She doesn’t need any endorsement contracts, she just needs to melt all that bullion down and she’ll hit next year’s Forbes List. 8:55 am ET, TSN 2.

Charles Hamelin will skate for Canada at the oval, too. Let me tell you, this guy is fast. (How fast is he?) Charles Hamelin is so fast, I’m told, that if he goes one – just one – more mile per hour faster, he’ll disappear before our eyes and instantly reappear at an “Enchantment Under The Sea” dance in 1955. Hamelin has heats in the 1,000 metre and 5,000 metre relay events. 6 am ET, on CBC.

[Related: Denny Morrison wins silver in men’s speed skating]

In curling, it’s hoped that the Canadian men have gotten their act together after they took down the Russians on Day 5. You can tell when Brad Jacobs and his buddies are playing well. That’s because they flex and holler a lot. Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if one of the Harnden boys turned green and burst through his stylish Mondetta curling shirt after a raise-triple take out. Canada vs Denmark, 5 am ET, on TSN2.


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